Pigs 'n' Putts

Lenny Bruce once did a very funny bit about being on trial for using an obscenity in one of his nightclub comedy routines. The word, though shocking, isn’t all that shocking; the objection was mostly that Mr., Bruce had dared to use it in a night club full of undercover police.

In the bit, the word had to be used in the courtroom over and over so that the judge and jury would fully appreciate the gravity –and depravity—of the offense.

DA: “Mr. Bruce, did you say the word **** in your act?”

Bruce: “I said, ‘****.’

Court Reporter: “Could you repeat that?”

Bruce: “Certainly. ****.”

Judge: “Let the record show that Mr. Bruce said the word ‘****.’”

Court Reporter: “Could you spell that please?”

Bruce: “Of course. ****…* - *- *- *. ****.”

...And so on, with the reporters and spectators all muttering “He said, ‘****!’”

I am reminded of that story when I see the coverage of Barack Obama’s observation on the persistence of swinishness of certain animals despite the application of lip cosmetics.

Of course Obama was NOT saying Sarah Palin is a pig. Although I reject his politics, I still believe that the man himself is a thorough gentleman with admirable manners and a genuine desire to do good in the world. He seems to be a nice guy, in short, the kind who would not stoop to childish name-calling.

The trouble is that for such an eloquent man, Barack Obama has a tin ear. After her pit bull joke at the convention, Sarah Palin owns the word “lipstick.” If someone or something in this campaign is said to be adorned with lipstick, that someone is going to be assumed to be Governor Sarah Palin.

There is no great truth to be learned from this incident except that everything a candidate says from this point of the campaign onward is going to be scrutinized by the press and opposition party with scanning electron microscopes. Obama’s innocent crack about GOP policy has already generated tens of thousands of vehement words in print and on the air. Imagine if he had actually said something!

Reports that Kim Jong Il might be dead or seriously handicapped after suffering a massive stroke has dozens of people around the world saying, “Gee, that’s a shame.”

Doubly tragic is the fact, duly reported by the official DPRK news agency that not only is the world losing the services of a great statesman, but a great golfer as well. A few years ago, on his first-ever golf outing, the press agency informs us, Mr. Kim sank an astounding eleven holes-in-one! Not bad for the man who, as any North Korean schoolchild will tell you, has his hands full making the sun rise every morning.